


Never Gonna Leave This Bed

by stacymc2012



Category: Leverage
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-15 09:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stacymc2012/pseuds/stacymc2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophie finds out some news that has her breaking inside. She's afraid to tell Nate. Because of what he had already lived before with his son Sam. She would only be a constant reminder of that horrible time in his life and a sick repeat. -Possible TBC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this quite a while ago, it was based off the song Never Gonna Leave This Bed by Maroon 5. This fic can be a stand alone, but I could also add the other two or three chapters that were meant to be with it. Let me know what you guys think, and I hope you enjoy. Also, you'll notice that I decided to change my writing style in this one, please bear with me, I wanted to see what it was like to write in present tense. (I find it very hard!) I own nothing.
> 
> Enjoy!

She inhales a shaky breath, trying hard to calm the tears that quickly fall from her eyes. The brunette stares down at her shaking hands and terrible thoughts plague her already bloated mind. She is afraid. Afraid of what the future would bring; afraid of their reactions; afraid of so much more that she couldn’t possibly bear to dwell on it at the moment. A sob escapes her trembling lips before she can stop it and her chin begins to quiver. She leans forward and hides her face in her hands and begins to cry into them for what seems like the billionth time that week since she found out.

It is nearly ten minutes later before she hears the heavy footsteps coming up the stairs outside in the hallway. She knows he is approaching, so quickly she wipes away the tears from her face and tries to compose herself to her usual way of doing it; trying her best to look absolutely fine like she did before. She is a grifter after all; she could do this kind of thing in her sleep. However, this man... This man that would soon walk through that front door from the downstairs bar...

 He could read her like an open book. He could see through her like he saw through a clear glass. He could cut through her and get to the heart of the problem without her even realizing what he was doing. That was his power with her. And as much as it frightens her, she is okay with it. She just wasn’t sure if she was ready to divulge this important piece of information. Maybe she should try and put if off for a bit longer?

“Okay, we’ve got some red wine for us; chicken Alfredo with angel hair pasta. How does that sound?” He now stands in front of her as he sets down a large tray for them on the coffee table.

She had been so lost in thought she didn’t even hear him enter. The other three members of their team and makeshift family had gone out for drinks while the couple decided to have a date night at home. She fights the urge to look up at him and blurt everything out, however she knows she can’t do that. She hears him speak again, something about napkins, and then watches as he walks into the kitchen.

“Looks lovely, Nate,” she calls to him. Her voice is slightly strained from the knot in her throat, which she could only wish would disappear. She forces a weak, practiced smile onto her marginally paler than usual face and waits for him to return. When he does, Sophie turns and presses a tender kiss on his cheek lovingly. She smiles at him again and leans closer to him, wrapping an arm around his.

“Are you hungry?” He questions her as he turns to his left to look at her face, a smile still on his façade, and then he notices it. He sees her eyes. He sees how broken they looked. A look that hadn’t been there recently...

Food forgotten and pushed aside, Nate cups her left cheek with his right hand, “Sophie? What’s wrong?”

He can see the storm of emotions and the tornado of thoughts that pass behind those beautiful, deep brown orbs of hers... Then she finally breaks in front of someone, allowing the tears to well up and roll down her cheeks freely. Nate isn’t too sure how to react to the sudden spring of feelings coming from her. Definitely wasn’t PMS... Not allowing his confusion to cloud his ability to comfort her, the mastermind takes her into his arms and rubs her back. “Sophie? C’mon, talk to me? What’s wrong?”

Her face buries into his chest the instant he hugs her. She lets out a small shaky breath, once more trying to reign over her melancholy and despair. However, this time it is much harder. She begins to cling onto him for dear life, biting back a loud sob and silently allowing her tears and her cries to be seep into his shirt. Nate carries on in rubbing her back and holding her as close to him as possible, waiting for her to compose herself when she was ready.

“Shh, everything’s going to be fine, Soph. It’s going to be okay...” He rocks her still.

She shivers against him as she abruptly pulls away from him and wipes her now red face. Sophie composes herself as much as she can and her face contorts in emotional distress. She is still pressed into his side though, and his arm is still around her shoulder, rubbing her left arm soothingly.

“I’m... Sorry, Nate.” The thief whispers to him very lowly. She didn’t trust her voice at the moment.

“Don’t apologize for that, Soph, you know you don’t have to...” He kisses her temple and then whispers to her just as lowly, “When you’re ready, tell me what’s wrong, okay? No rush.”

She nods and leans her head against his shoulder and closes her tired eyes to gather her thoughts. He presses his cheek against her head as she thinks.

Her voice breaks through their tense silence moments later, so lowly he nearly misses it. “Nate...” She murmurs.

“I’m here. What is it, Sophie?” He kisses her hair and keeps her as close as he can again.

“I’m dying, Nate,” Sophie is forced to swallow the convulsive cry that wanted so badly to break out of her lungs, up her throat and out her mouth.

The world around him freezes completely. Then it begins to shatter into millions of little pieces. He feels the blood that courses through his veins turn to ice and then morph into lead. He can’t move a single muscle, nor can he emit a single sound from his now dry throat and mouth. All he can see is Sophie’s beautiful, broken eyes. The eyes that had rendered him incapable of speech when he was first held captive by her. Eyes that bore into his own during the whispered confessions of love between them. Eyes that had never shown more happiness than they did when they got married. Eyes that welled up with tears when they had decided they were going to try for a child. “ _I’m dying, Nate.”_ Those eyes were dying right before him.

“N-Nate...” She whispers out, her breath catches in her throat as her head begins pounding from the amount of strain on it from crying. He stares at her in shock, eyes completely blank, yet displayed every disconsolate, hurt, angry feeling out there. She needs him to say something. Anything. She needs a reaction. “Please... Say something...” Tears well up in her eyes again and she tries hard not to cry once more. She had cried so much in the last two weeks that she had known.

“How long have you known?” His voice is raspy, shattered, much like the world around him. Nate turns to his side and cups her face with both is hand, making quick work of wiping her tears away with his warm thumbs.

“Tw-two weeks...” She admits and the tears begin falling more profusely.

“God...” He thinks back to every moment he spent with his wife in the past two weeks. She had carried this burden with her the entire time...

“Any other questions?” Her voice is low still as her heart pounds harder and harder. She’s afraid he would turn her away now because of this... Because of what he had already lived before with his son Sam. She would only be a constant reminder of that horrible time in his life and a sick repeat.

He silently strokes the side of her face, “Do you... Know how long you have?” He didn’t even know what was killing her. That would be his next question.

“Three months... If I’m lucky.” She cannot bear to look at him any longer and bows her head. She wonders if she will ever run out of all these tears.

“What’s killing you, Sophie?” The question is terribly blunt, but how else is he going to put it? How else was he going to ask his wife a question that would plague him for a very long time if he didn’t ask? He realizes that three months wasn’t very long. His mind swirls and Nate internally swore they would make the best of it.

“It’s not... Important, Nate...” She says and leans up to place a soft kiss on his lips.

Against her lips, he whispers her real name, a single tear rolling down his own cheeks, “...Tell me, please.... I need to know.”

“Please Nate...” She pauses as to not sob loudly, “Don’t make me tell you...” She can’t stop the tear that rolls down her face.

Unable to bear the sight of his wife crying any more, he pulls her to him gently, kissing her forehead then presses her into his chest. “Alright, shh.. It’s alright...” He swallows when he hears her beginning to sob once more. Nate forces his eyes closed to keep himself from losing it as well, “You... Just tell me when you’re ready...” If she becomes ready to tell him...

Her grip tightens around her husband’s midsection and she whispers while trying to recompose, “H-how will I tell-tell the others...?”

Nate lovingly rubs her back, “We’ll work something out.”

“They need to know, Nate.”

“I know Soph, I know – You’re not alone anymore in this, you know that. We’ll work this out.”

“And- Parker... She... She won’t know how to handle... This,” she isn’t able to stop the sob that escapes, but swallows the rest. She needs to get this out. “Y-you... You’ll need to... Keep watch of her, Nate... Please, promise me!”

“I promise, Sophie, I promise you.”

There needs to be some sort of treatment for her, there had to be a chance that she would live, that she could fight whatever it was that was killing her slowly. He lifts her chin to look into her brown eyes, she has calmed considerably now. Their dinner is cold, but it didn’t matter, it isn’t like either of them has an appetite left. He swallows and lets go of her as he stands. Once he’s up, he leans down and picks up the frail, shaking woman.

“Nate, what are you doing?” Comes her confused, thickly-accented voice.

 Nate is unable to help himself as he kisses her forehead and whispers, “Let’s go upstairs, we’ll be more comfortable in bed.” He just needs to hold his wife, the love of his life now.

Sophie nods and leans into Nate’s chest as he walks them up the spiral staircase to their bedroom. Once upstairs, Nate sits her down on the bed and gently removes her heels and then moves up and places a loving kiss on her nose. Sophie smiles at the affection he displays; behind closed doors, Nate is the most loving, caring man she had ever met, he just wasn’t good at displaying it in public very often. His fingers move down to her button-down blouse and he slowly begins unbuttoning her blouse, knowing she wore a tank top under.

Slowly, Sophie takes her arms out of the blouse and he sets it aside on an armchair near the bed. He helps her stand and removes her skirt slowly then grabs her pajama pants and helps her put them on. “Stay here for a moment,” he moves over to the bed and draws back the covers and then lays her down. He undresses himself as well and puts on his own pajamas and lays down beside her.

Sophie turns to her side so she can look at him; Nate is lying on his side beside her as well, the two don’t say a word as they stare into each other’s eyes, everything needing to be said is being said in silence. He brings his hand up to her face and gently lays it on her cheek; his thumb grazes over her cheekbone in admiration. She feels as a shiver runs down her spine and she smiles a bit and opens her mouth and whispers, “I love you so much, Nathan Ford.“ She leans in and places a soft kiss on his lips.

Their faces are just inches away now and Nate nods as he leans in as well and whispers against her soft lips, “I love you too, so very much...” He whispers her name and kisses her once more.

Sophie swallows and closes her eyes, feeling exhaustion beginning to take over as adrenaline levels drop in her body. She sighs and leans in to bury her face into his neck while his arm drapes around her. He hears her whisper lowly, “Nate, hold on tight. And please... Don’t let go.”

He swallows hard and nods slowly, “I won’t, baby, I promise I won’t.”

Sophie instantly falls asleep in the arms of her husband, in the safety of his arms.

 

The next morning, when Sophie wakes with a start, she shivers at the coolness of not waking with her husband beside her. She makes her way downstairs and the place is completely empty and she realizes that Nate is gone.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometime later...

Sophie stared blankly at the gray, hospital ceiling above, unable to stop the tears that were slipping from the corner of her eyes. She had been in the hospital for the last month and a half. After that morning, when she woke and didn't find Nate beside her, her health took a dangerous decline and she got worse quicker. As a result, she had been forced to tell the team on her own and she was more than sure a few weeks of her life had been shaved off at the sound of Parker's distraught cries, pleading her that it was all a lie. Sophie had to admit though, she didn't blame Nate. She could never blame her husband. It sounded ridiculous, but the thing was she had seen that coming. She couldn't lie to herself, when she found out she was dying, she couldn’t tell herself that Nate wouldn't leave. Considering how he had taken his son's death, would she be wrong to think that losing his wife would be just as bad?

  
Well, considering his reaction and the fact that he wasn't there the following morning proves that perhaps it would be just as bad to lose his wife like he did his son. She was afraid. She was afraid of what would happen once she was gone. What he would do. She was afraid of the downward spiral he would go into again, the one they had just barely managed to save him from. She was afraid he would go looking for answers in the bottom of a bottle of whiskey or vodka again. She was afraid it would tear their "family" apart and that nobody would be there to put them back together. Sophie was sure she would have sounded full of herself to anybody else, but they were her legitimate fears and she need not justify them to anybody.

She swallowed hard and tried to sit up in the hospital bed that, at this point, had an imprint of her body in the mattress considering how much time she'd spent laying in it. Wiping her face shakily, she turned to see Parker standing at the entrance of her room. Parker tried her best to keep her distance from Sophie since she found out. Sophie wasn't offended, she understood. For the sake of self-preservation, Parker was trying to stay away, as if that would make it all easier. A lot like Nate was trying to do; though he wasn't around to defend himself or give his reasons, Sophie knew this was why. Parker would come by every once in a while and stay for no more than 8 minutes, and then she would leave.

Sophie hated herself. She hated herself for what she was doing to the poor girl she saw like her daughter. She hated that she couldn't fix it and take her pain away. Sophie drew in a breath when she saw Parker walk into the room for the first time.

Usually she would hang around by the door, wave sadly and speak to her from there. Never would she walk inside. She feared that if she walked inside and sat by Sophie's bed like Hardison, Eliot and even Tara did, that it would make it all too real, and she wasn't sure if she could handle that. Today was different though. Today, what she was feeling, was something that only Sophie's arms could fix. Nate was like her father, and he was gone, he couldn't handle Sophie being sick. And now Sophie was dying and it was like slowly ripping off a band-aid, every inch hurting more than the last. She had lost/was losing the second pair of people who were her parents and her heart ached in a way she never knew was possible. Hardison had told her that love wasn't supposed to hurt. That love between her and Hardison was never supposed to hurt; did that apply to every other type of love too?

Slowly, the blonde thief made her way over to Sophie and sat down on the edge of her bed, looking everywhere but at Sophie's face. Sophie's small, graceful hand laid on top of Parker's and she gave it a light squeeze and whispered, "Parker..."

Parker wasn't sure what came over her when she heard Sophie's voice but all of a sudden, a loud sob escaped her pale pink lips and she looked up at the grifter's face. It was thin, ashen, fallen, far from anything she'd ever seen Sophie look like. Her eyes had lost all their light and looked listless, her lips were chapped and the nasal oxygen mask made her look sicker than Parker dared to believe. Another sob left Parker's small frame as she leaned forward in Sophie's bed and hid her face in Sophie's shoulder as she cried.

Sophie let out a small breath she didn't know she was holding and wrapped her arms around the girl's slender figure and held her close, "Oh Parker... I'm sorry," she whispered carefully, her voice holding so much emotion.

The two lay there for a few minutes. Sophie held Parker close as she cried. Eventually, her sobs softened into slight whimpers and Sophie couldn't help but wonder how long Parker had been holding in these feelings that she finally let them out here and now. She rubbed Parker's back and when a nurse came in to say something, Sophie simply shook her head and waved her off with a small smile. The nurse, Anna, seemed to understand and turned to leave. Sophie looked down at Parker, kissing her blonde hair as her blue eyes stared off into space. She knew Parker was taking it bad, but something told her she'd never understand just how bad she was taking this... Change, for lack of a better term.

Lowly, Parker spoke in a shaky tone, "C-Can't they fix it?" She sounded like so much like a small child. Like a child who's teddy bear had just been broken and she wanted it pieced back together.

Sophie wanted nothing more in the world than to lie to her and say, "of course they can" but even she knew it'd simply hurt her more in the end. She settled for the truth because... Because Parker deserved it. "I'm sorry, Parker," she said, her voice weak but her accent thicker than honey, "They can't fix this, I'm afraid."

"What if.. What if they brought in the best doctors in the world or... Hardison could do that. Hardison, Eliot and I, and Tara, we can do anything. Would that help?" She sat up quickly, a hopeful look in her eyes.

A few tears slipped from Sophie's eyes because she couldn't hold composure any longer at seeing the hope on the girl's pale face, "They can't, darling."  
It wasn't that she had given up hope; it was that - at this point - she was simply waiting to die - despite how morbid that thought sounded.

"So there's nothing we can do..." Parker muttered as she looked down at her own hands and swallowed hard, "Nothing at all we can do." She bit down on her lip. Sophie could see the little hamster wheel turning quickly in the brilliant mind of hers.

"Would balloons help?" Parker asked her suddenly.

Sophie let out a weak laugh because she had to. She was filled with so much pure innocence and love inside despite her job description and that gave Sophie a bit of hope in humanity. Parker was very special to her, and this was why. Her view of the world was quite magnified and though she couldn’t express her feelings well enough for anyone else, Sophie knew that she felt things so much more deeply because her views of the world were so magnified and because of her past. This made her feel an overwhelming need to protect Parker.

"Balloons make everything, and I mean everything, better, Parker," she said seriously.

Parker mustered a grin, "Okay," she suddenly got out of Sophie's bed, "I'll be back."

"Where're you going?" Sophie asked but Parker was already gone.

Sophie let out a slight chuckle and lay back in bed. She knew she was only trying to cope.

A few minutes later, Parker returned with... Well, quite a collection of balloons. So many of them, Sophie was sure she'd fly away if she were holding them outside. Sophie looked slightly shocked, "Parker, how did you manage to steal all of those balloons?"

Parker looked up at Sophie, a wide grin on her face, clearly she was proud of herself about something, "I didn't steal them. I bought them for you." She showed Sophie the receipt.

It would've sounded very stupid to anyone else, but to see that Parker had bought her balloons made her heart swell, because... Well, they'd managed to teach her that much and that meant so much to her and she was so full of pride at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was LONG overdue-d, I am so sorry! I hadn't remembered I'd posted this fic on AO3 as well. Here's the next one and you'll have the next few chapters very soon :) I hope you enjoyed!


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